Ryan - I love how you kindly tease me. You never try put me down. You keep things light and generally positive. You are awesome at trying to interact with the kids in the evenings. I LOVE that. You work your tail off for our family and I love how dedicated you are to do that for our family so I can do my job of raising our kids. I love your genuine smile. I love your goofiness. The way you can be goofy in front of us and just be yourself. I love when you scoot your legs to my side of the bed to cuddle.
Aubree - You are so smart. You love to learn. You are great at trying to understand what’s going on in our family and try to be a big helper. You a very mature. You are considerate of others. I love that you enjoy drawing and I love when you put detail into your art. I love your natural highlights in your hair. So pretty.
Kendra - You grasp and understand so much. You are smart and spunky. You have such a fun personality and say some of the funniest, cutest things. You surprise with things that I didn’t know you remembered or understood. You have an amazing memory and understanding.
Rhett - You have the funnest little giggles. And you can make yourself laugh. Is SO fun. You blow me away with the things you are able to accomplish. You a smart little cookie and such a fun personality. I love to see your cute little baby run. You are so cute when you understand what we are saying and do things. You are so cute when you clean up the toys all on your own. And the words you are already saying. Blows me away. Smart little baby.
Thursday, February 21, 2019
Friday, February 15, 2019
Looking Back - Signs
Looking back there were a few signs.
I remember the first sign was that the ultrasound tech said that Eli was measuring smaller in that very last appointment. Though the dr. never said anything about it. During that same appointment I remembered the nurse said I jumped in weight. I remember telling him about my sisters preeclampsia. Though I don’t recall him telling me any signs or checking my swelling.
The day of my baby shower my friend teased that she was surprised my ring still fit. It was even more snug than before. On Sunday evening I felt sore and had Ryan load the dishwasher.
The next morning my mom called and/or text me saying she thought it could potentially be preeclampsia but maybe I could get a reading of my blood pressure. I was able to get a reading from my nurse friend down the street. It was very slightly elevated. The nurse didn’t seem concerned even with the description of my eyesight being off. When I looked at my granite countertop it looked like a 3D picture that you cross your eyes to be able to see the hidden image.
Later in the week I was feeling fine but just felt something was off and maybe less kicks. Which was weird because usually I didn’t feel much kicks from Eli anyway with his placenta in front.
I remember the first sign was that the ultrasound tech said that Eli was measuring smaller in that very last appointment. Though the dr. never said anything about it. During that same appointment I remembered the nurse said I jumped in weight. I remember telling him about my sisters preeclampsia. Though I don’t recall him telling me any signs or checking my swelling.
The day of my baby shower my friend teased that she was surprised my ring still fit. It was even more snug than before. On Sunday evening I felt sore and had Ryan load the dishwasher.
The next morning my mom called and/or text me saying she thought it could potentially be preeclampsia but maybe I could get a reading of my blood pressure. I was able to get a reading from my nurse friend down the street. It was very slightly elevated. The nurse didn’t seem concerned even with the description of my eyesight being off. When I looked at my granite countertop it looked like a 3D picture that you cross your eyes to be able to see the hidden image.
Later in the week I was feeling fine but just felt something was off and maybe less kicks. Which was weird because usually I didn’t feel much kicks from Eli anyway with his placenta in front.
Monday, February 11, 2019
Tender Mercies
I was talking to Amber Miller today and I told her that a recent passing of a micro premie in the ward has restored some feelings of my own loss. Somewhere in the conversation she asked me if I had seen Tender Mercies in my own life. I will try to think of some.
- Rhett was steady when he was born and wasn’t in intensive need. So I didn’t fear his life right away and I could focus on myself. I was in a bad spot with all those meds and lack of sleep.
-My milk (Or colostrum) came in rather quickly (while still in the hospital) so that I could feed him.
- The Brunson’s covering a baby session for Eli so I could treasure those images forever.
-Rhett didn’t really get any sickness even a real cold for a long time (even past Christmas). That was a huge blessing since I was dealing with anxiety. And added fear for anything that might effect his breathing. I kept putting ongaurd oil on his feet but that isn’t fool proof. I think he was being watched over since Aubree was now in Kindergarten. We sanitized her hands like crazy but that alone still isn’t fool proof.
-When school did start I didn’t have to take Aubree to school. Thankfully her bus time lined up with the time Ryan went to work. That way I didn’t have to get everyone else ready and into the van.
-Rhett never caught RSV.
-Rhett seems to show no signs of development issues despite his early birth.
- Rhett’s surgery going well without well without complications. Also having Amber there with me to talk so I can keep my mind occupied and not so nervous.
- Having Ashley happen to be traveling to town that weekend we were doing Eli’s services because I had told my family not to worry about coming and making two trips for me in the year. I was trying not to inconvenience anyone when it was just a small little graveside service but I was glad to have both Ashley and Amber there.
-Ashley and Amber surprising me with a visit when I had a lot of stress on my mind. Eli’s Angelverssary and Ryan trying to decide to take the new job were weighing heavily on me and then it was SO nice to have them there to support me during the blow up from all the stress.
- Rhett was steady when he was born and wasn’t in intensive need. So I didn’t fear his life right away and I could focus on myself. I was in a bad spot with all those meds and lack of sleep.
-My milk (Or colostrum) came in rather quickly (while still in the hospital) so that I could feed him.
- The Brunson’s covering a baby session for Eli so I could treasure those images forever.
-Rhett didn’t really get any sickness even a real cold for a long time (even past Christmas). That was a huge blessing since I was dealing with anxiety. And added fear for anything that might effect his breathing. I kept putting ongaurd oil on his feet but that isn’t fool proof. I think he was being watched over since Aubree was now in Kindergarten. We sanitized her hands like crazy but that alone still isn’t fool proof.
-When school did start I didn’t have to take Aubree to school. Thankfully her bus time lined up with the time Ryan went to work. That way I didn’t have to get everyone else ready and into the van.
-Rhett never caught RSV.
-Rhett seems to show no signs of development issues despite his early birth.
- Rhett’s surgery going well without well without complications. Also having Amber there with me to talk so I can keep my mind occupied and not so nervous.
- Having Ashley happen to be traveling to town that weekend we were doing Eli’s services because I had told my family not to worry about coming and making two trips for me in the year. I was trying not to inconvenience anyone when it was just a small little graveside service but I was glad to have both Ashley and Amber there.
-Ashley and Amber surprising me with a visit when I had a lot of stress on my mind. Eli’s Angelverssary and Ryan trying to decide to take the new job were weighing heavily on me and then it was SO nice to have them there to support me during the blow up from all the stress.
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